Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Criminal Cooking

burger?You can click on the picture for the full recipe, it’s at Paula’s Home Cooking and she calls it "The Lady's Brunch Burger," but I strongly suggest that you don’t do that. It’s basically a hamburger with bacon and egg, using a Krispy Kreme donut as a bun. Actually, if she’d used a patty sausage instead I might be on board.

Paula is reputed to be a Southern Cooking guru, but the above treasure is Southern only to the extent that Krispy Kreme began in Winston-Salem NC. Betraying her lack of any kind of cooking credentials is this in the recipe,

Heat a large cast iron skillet over medium-high heat and spray with non-stick cooking spray.

My grandmother rose up out of her grave and smacked me on the head merely for reading that heresy. I heard a clatter in the kitchen, and went in to discover my skillet trying to jump off of the stove.

Anyone who puts non-stick cooking spray on a perfectly good cast iron skillet has no claim to being any kind of cook or any kind of Southern anything. Such a person not only should not be allowed to publish recipes, they should not be allowed to use recipes. They should not be allowed to cook, and I’m not sure they should be allowed to eat.


  1. bruce2:39 PM

    I won't write about my cast iron skillet (for fear of what Jayhawk might do to me with it, not to mention my siblings).

    Hamburger with bacon (good), with egg (um, maybe, but sausage is better), but on a Krispy Kreme? W.T.F.? Someone is smoking crack here - maybe that is the mystery ingredient in Krispy Kremes. I thought it was a bagel by looking at the picture (which might be bad enough), until I read the commentary.

    Ok, I will talk about my cast iron skillet - It has never had cooking spray in it. So there. I don't know about my grandmother, but yours can rest in peace.

  2. Obviously, Bruce was taught well about cast iron skillets. But not by his grandmother (maybe great-grandmother indirectly). And perhaps by his big brother.