America's Got What?

First a note on Chopped. One of the contestants was a Coast Guard cook. The judges were surprised that, even though he lived and worked on a ship, he was not very experienced at working with fish. I was not surprised.

Mariners in general, commercial or military, tend to have a deep aversion to eating fish. I’m not sure why, but the tradition goes back centuries. Naval cooks learn very quickly that serving fish to the crew is not a way to stay at their post very long.

Anyway, I watched the twelve semifinalists on America’s Got Talent last night and… Oh. My. God. Half the acts were cute little kids putting on mediocre performances and winning because they are cute little kids. Note to the judges: being a cute little kid is not a talent. One “comedian” screamed misogynistic “jokes” having to do, for instance, with using chloroform on his date. This guy was about as funny as a flu epidemic and the two male judges raved about his performance.

Another guy levitated and disappeared. Okay. The audience had to be told to applaud, because they were still trying to figure out when his act was going to start. A lady got out of a straightjacket in a water-filled glass box. I think that’s been done before, about eighty years ago. Guy named Houdini.

Looking for a “million dollar act” are they? There was not one act in the bunch that I would have walked across the street to see if the admission was free.