Tuesday, August 18, 2015


Danica Patrick has scheduled a news conference for tomorrow at 11:am EDT. (She finished 25th yesterday, two laps down.) I am breathless with excitement. I cannot imagine they would make such a big deal over something so mundane as a contract extension. Well, with Danica, we can't rule that out.

I think she's going to announce a sex change. "Women do not do well in NASACAR," she will say, "So I'm going to become a man."

The other possibility is that she's retiring because she's pregnant. Oh God, I am such a sexist pig.

Update, Wednesday 8:00am: Well, that was boring. She has a new sponsor. A bakery, no less, and no, I am not going to start babbling about buns.

Update, Thursday 8:30am: One sportswriter said that the bakery and Danica were "a perfect fit,"  which did certainly tempt me to indulge in some bun commentary. The fit, however was something about how the bakery requires machinery to bake its buns (no, no, no, don't go there) and Danica requires machinery to, um, win races.
I do hope the barkery has a better success record at baking buns than Danica does at winning races.


  1. bruce9:17 AM

    Awww, why not? It would be interesting to see what pithy commentary you can come up with.

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