CPAC Knee Slapper

Comedian Rush Limbaugh (as Keith Olbermann puts it) gave a real knee slapper at CPAC Saturday night. I watched as long as I could, but finally grew tired of the self adulation and gratuitous sliming of opponents and turned him off. A few jewels of wisdom from this font of wisdom were slightly less unworthy of comment that the rest of his diatribe.

We believe that the preamble to the Constitution contains an inarguable truth that we are all endowed by our creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life. Liberty, Freedom. And the pursuit of happiness. Those of you watching at home may wonder why this is being applauded. We conservatives think all three are under assault.

Many have noted the he got the document wrong; that the quote is actually in the Declaration of Independence. He also misquoted, as the word “freedom” doesn’t belong in there. It’s “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” And to top it off, he lists four things and than says that “all three of them” are under attack. And people cheer.

Also, for those of you in the Drive-By Media watching, I have not needed a teleprompter for anything I’ve said.

I daresay you do not. Maybe that’s why you don’t know what document you are quoting from, why you botch the quote and why you cannot remember from one sentence to the next what you said. Or perhaps you merely cannot count higher than three.

We can take this country back. All we need is to nominate the right candidate. It’s no more complicated than that.

He didn’t say who that candidate might be, but I suspect this comment rather annoyed John McCain and Sarah Palin.

How did the United States of America become the world’s lone super power, the world’s economic engine, the most prosperous opportunity for an advanced lifestyle that humanity has ever known?

Perhaps the same way the Ottoman Turks did it, and the Greeks did it, and the Romans, Holy Roman Empire, French and then British did it? Maybe the same way that whoever follows us will do it. Or do you think we are the “Thousand Year…

Some people are just going to work harder than others. Okay. You get what you work for. Those who have a genuine inability for whatever reason are taken care of.

But you are vowing to end welfare. Your entire diatribe prior to this point disavows “genuine inability” with its “everyone can succeed” mantra.

Well, the one thing, and there are many, but one thing that we can all do is stop assuming that the way to beat them is with better policy ideas right now. I don’t want to name any names. It’s not the point.

Well you certainly can’t beat them with your present policy ideas, insofar as what you have actually are policy ideas. What you mostly have are their policy ideas with the word “no” tacked onto the front.

And I love this not naming names thing, this thing of it not being the point. Fact is, he only knows one name, and that name is exactly the point.

What they mean is: We check our core principles at the door, come in, let them run the show and agree with them. That’s bipartisanship to them. To us, bipartisanship is them being forced to agree with us after we politically have cleaned their clocks and beaten them.

He actually said this. I have been amused by the endless whining of the Republicans about being “left out of the process” as a minority after, for six years in the majority, they literally locked the minority Democrats in the basement. They literally do believe that the meaning of bipartisanship does depend on who won. They literally do believe that bipartisanship has a “heads I win tails you lose” kind of meaning. They don’t just want it to be that way, they actually think it is that way. Amazing.

All the tea parties that are starting to bubble up out there. Those are great. Fabulous.

Tea parties. I thought this was the invention of a bunch of wingnuts, and now I find it is actually sanctioned by the head of the Republican Party.
Oh, wait.

“Tea bag the Dems before they tea bag you.” Right.