Historic Agreement

I have joined a weight loss club. There are one hundred of us in the club, and we are going to lose a total of 2500 pounds by some indefinite date in the future. We are not committing to how much weight any individual is going to lose, but obviously not any single one of us can lose the total, so even the less obese are going to have to pitch in and lose a pound or two.

We are not committing to any specific actions that we will undertake towards losing that weight, such as eating less food, removing donuts from our diets or engaging in some form of exercise. That would be hard, and we don’t do hard things. We are convinced that we can lose all of that weight by the sheer force of our good intentions.

To show how serious we are about this, we are announcing the intention to create a $100,000 fund to pay the health care costs of our members who suffer from the the ill effects of being overweight. We are not actually creating the fund, that would mean parting with real money which is also hard, we are merely announcing that we have good intentions to do so.

I can’t wait to see how this turns out. Pun intended.