Do Not Celebrate The Fourth!

Do not celebarte the founding of our nation this upcoming weekend. Do not go to the beach or to a public park. Don't go to any ballgames. Do not hold your family gathering at any sort of public venue.

Stay home, by yourself, and watch the television so that the news can tell you where the terrorists are and how many hundreds thousands of innocent people they have gunned down in the streets. Congratulate yourselves that you listened to the warnings issued by the Department of Homeland Stupidity and knew that these horrific attacks from the "thousands of self-radicalized homegrown terrorists"  was coming.