Thursday, December 10, 2009

Sex in stock cars

Danica Patrick is coming to stock car racing. Be still my palpitating heart.

I have watched this “dynamite package” in open wheel a dozen or so times and the only thing I have ever seen her do is, in the words of a famous general, “advance to the rear.” She starts in fourth place and seeks tenth place as if it were something avidly to be achieved. She won one race because the eight cars that were faster than her ran out of gas.

It’s always the car’s fault, of course, as is every accident that she gets into.

Dale Earnhardt Junior will be her boss. They will be quite a pair; the two most exciting drivers in the sport, neither of whom can drive worth a damn and neither of whom has ever made a mistake. That will be an ego contest worth watching, but the car race will probably suck.

1 comment:

  1. As Eury Jr found out when he was Dale Jr's crew chief, Dale Jr can do no wrong. It was always Eury Jr's fault. Well, he better get ready again because he'll be catching the blame for everything Danica does wrong. If she hits the wall, it'll be his fault. If an engine blows, it'll be his fault. If she puts her make-up on wrong, it'll be his fault.

    This will truly be a battle of the hyped up egos. Who will win? The one that throws the bigger hissy fit.