Monday, June 27, 2011

Emergency Planning

I am digging a nuclear fallout shelter in my back yard. My neighbors think it’s a swimming pool and I’m hoping to maintain that façade as long as I can. Since I’m planning for it to be 200’ deep, they probably think that is one honking big swimming pool.

My house is just twelve miles from the San Onofre nuclear reactor plant which is going to be hit by a tsunami, an earthquake, a hurricane and a terrorist flying a 747 any day now. All at one time. Since the plant has been the victim of corruption, mismanagement, neglect, ineptitude, and pulchritude for dozens of years, the results will kill millions of people.

If there is anything that CA has more of than ineptitude, it is pulchritude.

The freeways cannot carry enough traffic to evacuate the immense population, and in any case they will be devastated by the tsunami, earthquake and hurricane. Not to mention clogged with pulchritude.

We know all of this because two nuclear reactors have blown up in Iowa and Nebraska, eradicating Cedar Falls and Omaha and killing millions, as a result of flooding on the Missouri River. Oh, wait. That hasn’t happened.

Yet. But a lot of bloggers won’t be happy until it does.


Barbara B. Solbrig said...

Did you know that they have also abandoned Lo Alamos Labs because of a fire? I bet you'll get a fire with your earthquake/tsunami/hurricane/airplane crash/traffic jam/pulchritude problem. Oh wait, maybe it is just a blogger problem.

bruce said...

the only problem I see here is that Jayhawk can barely dig himself out of a plate of bacon and eggs in the morning, so the whole premise is flawed.

But the theory is pretty spot on.

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